Today I was working on a small patch of hard, weedy soil. My first step was to turn the soil with the shovel. The dirt was compact and I had to use effort to break it apart. I had to take the shovel and push hard to get through, to break it apart.
Suddenly, someone I love came to my mind. This person has had years of heartache, had become hardened in life. That wounded heart, like the soil, was hard. This particular person and the subsequent people I prayed for as I dug, is a believer and with a heart that is the Lord's but a heart that needs to be turned over. So with every shovel I prayed the Lord to break though the hardness of hearts, break apart the years of pain and lies Satan has convinced them ... so it could become soft .. to the Lord.
Then the Lord spoke to me .. ever so gently as He does .. "Mary, what about your hard spots?" I don't know why I seem to forget that I too have these hard parts in my heart that the Lord has to deal with. So, I agreed with Him. I asked Him to show me where my heart is hard, where my heart, like the soil needs to be turned over, broken down into soft beautiful soil. He showed me that I still have insecurity. Hard to imagine that after all that the Creator of the Universe had done to prove Himself faithful to me that I would still be fearful. I repented as I dug, and broke the clods with my hands. Thanking the Lord for the fact that I GET to be broken down. I GET to be made soft and pliable and then I GET to be used for His purpose which is always something beautiful.
All the while I am listening on my headphones ... New Creation by Leeland.
I was also listening to The Door by Leeland. I listen to it loudly and my whole heart.
I love those songs and listen to them and others over and over. It brings joy and truth to my mind and heart.
BTW .. some of you might wonder why in the world I tell the whole world about my spiritual journey, making it public rather then keeping it private. The reason is, I can't NOT tell what the Lord does. He is so good to me, loves me so much, so patient and merciful that I just have to tell the whole world. And if I have to expose my weaknesses to show HIS goodness .. then I will do it gladly.
I read this from Elisabeth Elliot's daily devotional
Author: Elisabeth Elliot Source: A Lamp For My Feet Scripture Reference:
The Lust for Security
Once we have set ourselves to be pilgrims and strangers on the earth, which is what Christians are meant to be, it is incongruous for us to continue to insist upon the sort of security the world tries to guarantee. Our security lies not in protecting ourselves from suffering, but in putting ourselves fully into the hands of God. The desire for physical and material security makes us sly and hard. No. We must be like little children. The child in its father's arms is not worried. It lies quietly at rest because it trusts its father. We disobey sometimes because we say it is impossible to do what God asks. Impossible? Perhaps what we mean is impossible to do that and keep our security, impossible to obey without tremendous cost, or at least tremendous risk. Where, then, will we find safety? Is it likely that we will find it elsewhere than in the arms of the Father? Teach me to rest in your everlasting arms. Make me know that all other security is illusion.
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My first step was to turn the soil with the shovel. The dirt was compact and I had to use effort to break it apart. I had to take the shovel and push hard to get through, to break it apart.
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beautiful thoughts sweetie.
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