The Dentist

I had an interesting event yesterday at the dentist office. 

I am very fearful of going there. I had to get a valium. I asked for a serious pill and I got a 10 mg. 

It wasn't enough. I was still so fearful when I went in there. I was mean and grumpy towards Don - who by the way - took time off of work to be with me. But, I was rude and cold to him because .. 

1. I was afraid and 

2. the valium effected me in a negative way. 

I HATE going there. I cried as I walked out my front door, I cried when Don didn't know exactly where the dentist office was, I was irritated at the nurse because she didn't have the right tone of voice. 

I didn't like Dr. Jepko because he explained things the wrong way. I cried in the chair. 

I was a mess. 

Finally, I was stuck in that stupid chair, with the awful dentist office smells, just waiting to be assaulted. {negative attitude, all the way} Don, patiently by me, holding my hand. I was still crying.

I was listening to my ipod - worship music. Trying to put my head where it should go. 

The lyrics (Chris Rice) were right and I even had a few seconds here and there where I would relax ... and this is on 10 mg of valium .. I heard God telling me .. being there in that chair was not His plan for me, His plan for me was to be in a beautiful garden, in close communion with Him. I was in that chair as a result of the fall of man. God's plan for me is a wonderful plan, full of love, life, health, joy ... but my plan for me has been to follow my ancestors and be an idolater. To put other things in God's rightful place. 

For instance, this dental fear of mine. I think the Lord showed me that I had allowed another power {fear} other then Him, to be the authority I had chosen to believe the thoughts of despair and powerlessness rather then the power of God, rather then His power to go with me and sustain me. He showed me that I was putting my fear on the throne of my heart instead of Himself, God. 

I was BLESSED by His message to me. I held it in my heart for a minute at least and then fell back into my old mindset BUT.. here is the good news ... God opened a window of understanding in my mind. I may not have had a immediate turn around but I have confidence that as I go through the next procedure, I am going to be more aware of my wrong thinking, and my prayer and prayer request will be that the Lord will strengthen my weak will that succumbs to that awful taskmaster, fear .. and next time ... believe God instead.. believe Him when He tells me ... 

Psalm 1:6  The Lord watches over the way of the righteous (we are made righteous through Christ)

Psalm 3:5  I lie down in sleep, I wake again because the Lord sustains me. 

How long, O men, will you turn my glory into shame?

How long will you love delusions and seek false gods?       

Know that the Lord has set apart the godly for himself;

the Lord will hear when I call to him.

Psalm 13:6 I will sing to the Lord for He has been good to me. 

Isaiah 54:10 "Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed," says the LORD, who has compassion on you. 

My hearts desire is next time I have to go to the dentist, I will not desire any valium, instead, by the power of God, He will change my thinking, and as I believe in Him, He will remove that ugly, awful idol of fear I put on the throne of my mind. And instead, as I go in there, smell that awful smell, be compelled to sit, awaiting the assault ... that just maybe ... I will believe in Him and as I can allow Him to be on the throne of my heart, peace will enter .. because that is what He tells us He brings .. peace.