One of the reasons I love God so much is His far reaching understanding. What seems like the end of the world today is just a blip on the radar screen in His time frame.
What is making me chuckle today is how parenting will bring anyone to their knees.
If you have any inclination towards pride ... have children. Any self promotion will be promptly put in its place.
When our first born was a baby she was perfect (still is actually) she was the light of our life, the joy of our day. (Still that too)
The world revolved around her and we were more then happy to oblige . She was generally a very happy baby. Cute as could be and as she grew from babyhood to childhood she was compliant and respectful. We had connected at heart.
When we went places, she was the perfect child at the event. Always thoughtful and sweet spirited. She never hit the other children, or took their toys. I trusted her to behave herself appropriately and she did. Nice.
What mother on this planet would not get puffed up by that?
"Oh, look at my perfect little daughter ... you know, she is like that because of our excellent parenting methods"
Of course, we never said those words out loud. They were just thoughts lurking in our minds.
Surprisingly, her teacher at school had a messed up image of our daughter. Knowing that can't be true,
I recognized that it was that awful school system. How in the world could they think anything but most precious thoughts about our daughter?
That's when it all started. I found out that ... she .. was .. not .. perfect ..
WHAT?? It was unthinkable.
My whole self image was based on her perfection and her brilliance and they were a result of my most excellent love, training and steadfast care.
The teacher had sent home a note saying our little angel had done something wrong.
My first reaction was "Well! What are they doing up there at the school to misjudge our daughter so much?"
With hands on hips or at least in my heart ... I would march into that school system to straighten them out and that's when the truth would knock me over.
What I had been told at home ... before going to the school ... by my little precious was not entirely the WHOLE truth.
There I would stand. My preconceived notions assaulted. Looking at the grade book, the undone assignments, I would be face to face with reality.
My false pride would crumble and I would recognize that my little perfect - was not.
Which would mean that this parent .. who had built a prideful foundation on the life of a 7 year old (duh)
would have to realize that maybe she is just a regular person after all. Maybe I am not super mom, and I couldn't base my worth on the outward behavior of my child.
Reality check. OK .. lesson time ... but this one is for mom.
I put my pride in it's rightful place - trash can ...
Now, 4 children later, my baby is 20 years old. I have been up and down with pride and humility. Unfortunately, over the years, I have taken my rejected pride out of the trash can to be used many times.
And looking back I laugh at my foolish self.
God is good. He stayed with us during all that, let us walk and learn. I can laugh because looking at the big picture I see it's just small part of the whole life.
I love God and His sense of humor. You know, He was in heaven watching me be an idiot. He knew what was coming down the path - He probably chuckled and loved me despite myself.
If only I had believed Him when He told me He loved me and wasn't looking for all my outward efforts in order for me to be valued by Him. If I could have believed that I am His precious child that He loves so much and that is enough. I didn't have to prove a thing, instead, just trust Him with all these needs of mine.
The good news is we have today! I can and do believe that He loves me, not for my performance but just because He is that good.
God is good. All the time.